Being a Boston Sports Fan

November 21, 2003

By Stephan Vitvitsky

Let’s face it. Boston sports fans are assholes. They are the most pessimistic and optimistic fans in the American sporting world. They will riot and become violent regardless of whether a Boston team wins a championship or loses one. They will make a pleasant trip to a game with your family quite unpleasant by means of drunken debauchery. They will always yell nonsensically, “Yankees Suck!” even if the Yankees don’t suck and always beat the Red Sox. The list goes on and on.

People who have never lived in New England have a difficult time understanding why Boston sports fan act the way they do. I am a Boston sports fan and I love being one. I have lived around Boston my entire life and being a diehard Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins, and Celtics fan is a part of my identity. My friends have realized that I am a huge asshole when it comes to talking sports. I will always argue, fight, and yell to prove that one of my players or teams is better, even if I know that I have the weaker argument.

So when you are arguing with a rabid Boston sports fan, you must realize that the argument will get nowhere because you are fighting with an incredibly stubborn, ill-tempered, and possibly drunk person. So it really is not worth your time to fight with a Boston sports fan. That is just the way things are.

When you are watching a game with a Boston sports fan, you will quickly experience extremes of pessimism and optimism that do not occur often in daily life. Jeff Suppan, a mediocre pitcher for the Red Sox, will throw two consecutive bad pitches and as a result the Red Sox fan in the room will scream obscenities and yell for the manager to get Suppan the hell out of there. However, if Suppan actually has a good game, the Red Sox fan will be cheering Suppan and saying that he will be a solid starter in a playoff game.

You will go to a Patriots game with your family and hope for a pleasant New England experience. Yet there will be a fat, bald, drunken man with his entire head painted red, white, and blue in the row in front of you screaming throughout the entire game. He will be gulping down beer after beer, and his heavy Boston accent will wither into nonsensical slurs that you don’t want your children to hear.

You go to a Bruins game and a fight breaks out on the ice. You will hear things such as “Rip his fuckin’ head off!” and, “Knock him out you pussy!” After the fight is over, the man on the opposing penalty box will get heckled and ridiculed for the rest of the game. You will sit there and wonder what the hell is wrong with these people.

At a Celtics game, fans will unceasingly taunt a player in the most tasteless ways. When the New Jersey Nets were playing the Celtics in the playoffs a year ago, Jason Kidd, the Nets best player, had been recently accused in the news of spousal abuse. In response, thousands of Celtics fans waved wife-beaters whenever Kidd touched the ball.

Why do Boston fans act this way? Boston teams in the last century have had some of the most exciting and best wins in sports history, as well as some of the most demoralizing, horrible losses and breakdowns. From the Red Sox being in an 85-year title drought, to Adam Viniateri’s last second Superbowl-winning field goal two years ago, to the Bruins winning their first conference title in 2002 in ten years just to lose in the first round of the playoffs in five games, to the Celtics winning four straight titles in the 1980s, being a Boston sports fan is an emotional rollercoaster. It is so much fun to root for the Sox, the B’s, the C’s, and the Pats, but it can be just as frustrating. So many pychological and emotional ups and downs have resulted in an enervated, violent, crazy, and die hard Boston fan base.

So the next time you are talking with a Boston sports fan or attending a game, you must approach the situation knowing what type of people you are talking to or surrounded by. It is quite entertaining being around such fans for they will say and do some of the wildest and craziest things.

You can feel the buzz in Boston, and even on campus, when a team is in the playoffs, and you can feel the demoralizationeverywhere when a team loses. So before complaining about how you can’t stand Boston sports fans, you must realize that they will never change. Just deal with it. If you are smart, you should take time to appreciate that you are going to school in an athletic atmosphere with fans that are unlike any other in the country.